Why Kenya?

November 4, 2006

The natural answer would be why not Kenya? Well it really should have been Tanzania, but Tanzania wasn't one of the options available to me if I wanted to use my "Airmiles" points to fly to Africa. I wanted to go to Tanzania because I guy I met in a bar on a hundred year old Dhow on the Micronesian Island of Yap during a typhoon invited me to come a visit his safari and dive operation there. Well it was sort of an invitation, but I would still have to pay - but he'd give me a discount, not a big one - but a discount. Hey! A discount is a discount. So the first roadblock I had to deal with was the fact that I couldn’t use my airmiles to fly to Tanzania, but I could get to Kenya - and that was right next door. The problem is that it might as well be on the far side of the moon! There is no cheap and fast way to get from Nairobi to Pemba. Then there was the little problem that my good friend, Raf, somehow lost a family of 5 scuba divers and to this date their remains have yet to be found. So staying with Raf, desipite the discount - if I could find away to get there seemed somewhat less appealing. I threw my energies into looking into taking a trip to Kenya. I've always been lucky finding really good local travel agents, and after sending emails to about a half dozen I settled on Raza at AfricanMecca. Raza and I hit it off really well and he designed a 17 day combination scuba and safari trip for me. We agreed on dates in April. I would finalize everything in early January. Unfortunately about a day before I was to book my flights, I woke up and peed blood for about half an hour - not a good omen to book a trip (I'm a strong believer in omens - particularly ones involving blood - my blood). A few short months, several trips to the Urologist, and a simple "procedure" (Simple to him. He's not the one with s tube shoved up his penis!!), and I was good as new. A new target date was set for this November.

In late August I called up the Airmiles people to book my trip only to be told:

“Sorry, no flights available for those dates.”

“Okay,” I said, “I’m flexible. How about something a week on either side?”

“Nope, nothing available.” The agent said after much computer clacking

“How about a month?” More clacking. “Nothing available>”

“Three months?”

“Sorry.”

Upon a little investigation I found out that Airmiles was having issues with it’s overseas carriers. In fact there were NO seats at all. Nothing Nada on any of it’s international flights on NWA, KLM, and Air Italia. I was told to try again in a few days – maybe they’d resolved their “issues”.

In a few days I called again. A different agent insisted on going through the same routine. When I asked her if the “issues” had been resolved, I was told I shouldn’t have even been told about the “Issues”

So, folks, it appears that you can collect all those double airmiles at Safeway and Rhona, but be warned if your thinking of using them to book an exotic trip to one of those far away destinations they list on their website you may be out of luck. I have no idea whether they resolved their “issues,’ but after three weeks I gave up and booked a flight at Flight Centre” for about a thousand bucks return out of Toronto.

Getting to Toronto shouldn’t be too bad – the good news is that I”ll be flying; Westjet – an airline I like to fly. The bad news is that I’m flying standby, the good news is that since my daughter works for the airline I get to fly at a reduced rate – but standby. That means flying a day or so early to make sure I make my connection. That means staying in a hotel in Toronto for a night or two. So when I add up what the room would cost me I could fly regular fare and make my connection, but my daughter would be insulted that I didn’t take advantage of her generosity of getting a job that benefited her father; not like her lousy brother who’s only an engineer.

So, dear friends, that, in a nutshell, is why Kenya – and hey! I haven’t even left yet! This should be one heck of a trip!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The Monkey Mafia

They have only one strict rule here at Pinewood Village. Under any circumstances "DON'T FEED THE MONKEYS!" So you know of course what I did. I smuggled a bun back to my room, and wanted to get a good close up picture of the monkeys. What damage could one small hunk of bread do. I went out on my balcony and put a piece on the ralining. Suddenly the whole balcony was awash with chattering monkeys - demanding monkeys. They were very cute and nice until the bun was gone. Then they turned into Tony Saprano and his gang. They refused to believe I was out of bread. They demanded more. They got hostile and chased me back into my room. After a while they left, so I went out on my balcony again, and bingo they were back. During the night they left me a reminder of what happens when you don't meet there demands. A pile of Monkey poo by the door. They've posted sentries so every time I even go near the door there waiting. What's worse is I've got a whole bunchof stuff on the balcony they're holding hostage. I might have to leave it behind.
So forget about my warnings about charging leopards and stampeding angry elephants. If you come to Africa, whatever you do "DON'T FEED THE MONKEYS"
Hope to get my stuff off the balcony and begin the 24 hour marathon to Toronto and then home on Saturday.
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