Why Kenya?

November 4, 2006

The natural answer would be why not Kenya? Well it really should have been Tanzania, but Tanzania wasn't one of the options available to me if I wanted to use my "Airmiles" points to fly to Africa. I wanted to go to Tanzania because I guy I met in a bar on a hundred year old Dhow on the Micronesian Island of Yap during a typhoon invited me to come a visit his safari and dive operation there. Well it was sort of an invitation, but I would still have to pay - but he'd give me a discount, not a big one - but a discount. Hey! A discount is a discount. So the first roadblock I had to deal with was the fact that I couldn’t use my airmiles to fly to Tanzania, but I could get to Kenya - and that was right next door. The problem is that it might as well be on the far side of the moon! There is no cheap and fast way to get from Nairobi to Pemba. Then there was the little problem that my good friend, Raf, somehow lost a family of 5 scuba divers and to this date their remains have yet to be found. So staying with Raf, desipite the discount - if I could find away to get there seemed somewhat less appealing. I threw my energies into looking into taking a trip to Kenya. I've always been lucky finding really good local travel agents, and after sending emails to about a half dozen I settled on Raza at AfricanMecca. Raza and I hit it off really well and he designed a 17 day combination scuba and safari trip for me. We agreed on dates in April. I would finalize everything in early January. Unfortunately about a day before I was to book my flights, I woke up and peed blood for about half an hour - not a good omen to book a trip (I'm a strong believer in omens - particularly ones involving blood - my blood). A few short months, several trips to the Urologist, and a simple "procedure" (Simple to him. He's not the one with s tube shoved up his penis!!), and I was good as new. A new target date was set for this November.

In late August I called up the Airmiles people to book my trip only to be told:

“Sorry, no flights available for those dates.”

“Okay,” I said, “I’m flexible. How about something a week on either side?”

“Nope, nothing available.” The agent said after much computer clacking

“How about a month?” More clacking. “Nothing available>”

“Three months?”

“Sorry.”

Upon a little investigation I found out that Airmiles was having issues with it’s overseas carriers. In fact there were NO seats at all. Nothing Nada on any of it’s international flights on NWA, KLM, and Air Italia. I was told to try again in a few days – maybe they’d resolved their “issues”.

In a few days I called again. A different agent insisted on going through the same routine. When I asked her if the “issues” had been resolved, I was told I shouldn’t have even been told about the “Issues”

So, folks, it appears that you can collect all those double airmiles at Safeway and Rhona, but be warned if your thinking of using them to book an exotic trip to one of those far away destinations they list on their website you may be out of luck. I have no idea whether they resolved their “issues,’ but after three weeks I gave up and booked a flight at Flight Centre” for about a thousand bucks return out of Toronto.

Getting to Toronto shouldn’t be too bad – the good news is that I”ll be flying; Westjet – an airline I like to fly. The bad news is that I’m flying standby, the good news is that since my daughter works for the airline I get to fly at a reduced rate – but standby. That means flying a day or so early to make sure I make my connection. That means staying in a hotel in Toronto for a night or two. So when I add up what the room would cost me I could fly regular fare and make my connection, but my daughter would be insulted that I didn’t take advantage of her generosity of getting a job that benefited her father; not like her lousy brother who’s only an engineer.

So, dear friends, that, in a nutshell, is why Kenya – and hey! I haven’t even left yet! This should be one heck of a trip!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

An Elephant Never Forgets!


A two hour bone rattling jaunt up the Kenya super highway takes one to the gates of Tsavo National Park. At nearly 22,000 sq. km it is the largest park in Kenya and is split into Tsavo East and West. I’ve been booked into Satao Camp. Camp is not really a great descriptive name for it - it is really quite luxurious. It consists of 20 tents and cabins and one “suite.” I was booked into one of the tents, but some girls from England swapped me for their suite, since the tents had multiple beds and the suite only one - unlucky me. The camp is run by “Bobby” an ex-pat Swiss who bears an uncanny resemblance to Christopher Lloyd in “Back to the Future.” When I mentioned it to one of the other guests, he nearly fell off his chair laughing.

My “tent” is even more luxurious than Fig tree. A very large tent with multiple lights, a writing table and sitting area. An attached washroom has a large show and a bathtub as well as the toilet. There is a raised patio that has two chairs a small table, and a large table with two more chairs. The whole area overlooks the Savannah and three tree just outside is full of monkeys and Baboons. A herd of Antelope is less than a hundred feet outside. About a quarter mile from my balcony is a water hole complete with mandatory hippo and crocodile. All the meals are served by chefs in starched white uniforms.

I’m attached to Henry, who will act as my guide the whole time I’m there. As there is only one other English speaking guest, there is only two of us in a Land Rover that seats 8.

It soon becomes clear that, because of it’s huge size, Tsavo Park doesn’t offer the amount of close encounters with wild life that Masi Mara did. It’s sort of like going to a county fair after you’ve been to Disneyland. After two days, the most exciting thing I saw was a couple of lions sleeping on the road. And after seeing up to 30 lions in a single day at Masi Mara I wasn’t too impressed.

At dinner I met Simon, a chap from England who was at Satao Camp for a couple of days. Simon appeared to be well off, judging from the pictures of his home in England, that appears to look much like Buckingham palace. It appears the family estate was mentioned several times by D.H. Lawrence in “Sons and Lovers.”

After swapping stories about our adventures, which included my telling Simon about my recent close encounter with the Leopard, and other adventures with sharks and Killer whales, Simon commented he doesn’t think he’d like to go on Safari with me as Animals seem to take a liking to chasing me. Little did I realize how prophetic his words would be.

Anyone who has grown up in North America knows that you don’t get between a mother bear and her cubs. There is a parallel case in Africa. Don’t get between a bull elephant and his herd.

We were trundling down the road when we spotted some elephants. About a half dozen on one side of the road, and a large single elephant on the other. I asked Henry to stop so we could take some pictures. As I was snapping away the large single elephant seemed to notice us and began to amble towards us - faster and faster. Suddenly he was running down the road straight towards his huffing and shaking his head angrily from side to side. Henry pulled slowly away as I was shooting. When we got a few yards down to road, the elephant stopped chasing us and began to rejoin his herd. That’s when I made mistake number two.

As he was not facing me, I started to shout at him, hoping he’d turn around so I could get some more good shots. Obviously the elephant didn’t appreciate the verbal abuse and turned and began to come after us again. At that point, since I had all the footage I needed, I politely suggested to Henry that he floor it and get us the f**ck out of there.

The next day was my last day at Satao Camp and I had an early morning game drive. We were barely a mile out of camp when we found the road blockaded, by…. Guess who?? My buddy the bull elephant and four of his buddies! Of all the elephants in all the countries in the world… I want to tell you something, folks. The saying is true: Elephants never do forget. My buddy came after me again. We had to take a 30 minute diversion to get back to camp since he and his buddies wouldn’t give up the right of way.

On my last night at Satao Camp I was treated to an enormous electrical storm that shook and rocked the tent all night. It was really quite spectacular. Tomorrow I go to an out camp, Satao Rock Camp.
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